As If We Were'nt Stressed and Worried Enough

It has been a long wait so far. It just seems to keep getting longer. I am more of a worrier than my wife. This hole time along I have been worried and stressed about the money involved in the adoption. Worried and stressed about travelling to China.Worried and Stressed about finally getting our referral and flying to China to pick up Ava and something is wrong with her. This sometimes happens to people. They either take another child or fly home alone and childless. Now more. It feels like the CCAA just seems to be adding and adding to my pile of things to worry and stress about. My wife and I are registered in the NSN group at China. The Non Special Needs program. We thought long and hard about what we could handle and what we couldn't handle as first time parents. Thus our decision to join the NSN group even though we knew that the wait time for this group was longer than the SN group. The Special Needs group. The SN files get matched faster than the NSN. So here we are. We've been waiting approximately three years and are now two groups away from referrals. We have about another year to wait because China has now only matched 32 days worth of referrals in six months. Plus we have recently found out that the CCAA have been referring SN children or former SN children that have had surgeries to fix their problems to the NSN group. So now we could end up waiting until this time next year which will be approximately four years only to be referred a SN child. If this happens to us I will be very upset and devastated. We could have become parents two years ago had we signed up for the SN program. I can't believe that the CCAA can get away with this. The CCAA have always prided themselves in saying that they do not match the potential parents to the children but instead they match the Child to the potential parents. They say that they do this because this hole procedure isn't suppose to be about the potential parents but about the children. If that's the case then what the HECK are they doing now. How would this be better for the children. Putting SN children in homes that are not prepared to handle all the extra things that would come about because of the Special Needs. As far as I am concerned if the CCAA is doing this then they are no longer thinking about the children.

Only 32 days in the first 6 months.

ARRRRRRRRRGH!!!!!!
It is depressing to know that in six long months the CCAA has only matched 32 LID's.
What are they doing over there!!!! I am so frustrated. I know we get closer every month but come on already!!! If they are averaging 5.3 days per month it is going to be another 10 months before we even see a picture of Ava. Does this mean it is going to be another year before we meet her?
God give me strength!